Current:Home > Contact'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice -ValueMetric
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
View
Date:2025-04-18 02:06:59
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (73882)
Related
- Tropical weather brings record rainfall. Experts share how to stay safe in floods.
- Tennessee Titans players voice displeasure with fans for booing Malik Willis
- The Nightmare Before Christmas Turns 30
- A ferry that ran aground repeatedly off the Swedish coast is leaking oil and is extensively damaged
- How to watch new prequel series 'Dexter: Original Sin': Premiere date, cast, streaming
- Steelers' Diontae Johnson rips refs after loss to Jaguars: 'They cost us the game'
- Why Matthew Perry was 'Friends' with all of us: Remembering the iconic actor
- St. Louis County prosecutor drops U.S. Senate bid, will instead oppose Cori Bush in House race
- American news website Axios laying off dozens of employees
- Kate Spade 24-Hour Flash Deal: Get This $349 Crossbody Bag for Just $75
Ranking
- Immigration issues sorted, Guatemala runner Luis Grijalva can now focus solely on sports
- Will Ariana Madix's Boyfriend Daniel Wai Appear on Vanderpump Rules? She Says...
- Bangladesh top court commutes death sentences of 7 militants to life in prison for 2016 cafe attack
- More than 1,000 pay tribute to Maine’s mass shooting victims on day of prayer, reflection and hope
- Bodycam footage shows high
- China Evergrande winding-up hearing adjourned to Dec. 4 by Hong Kong court
- Matthew Perry, star of Friends, dies at age 54
- Tennessee Titans players voice displeasure with fans for booing Malik Willis
Recommendation
Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear ready to campaign for Harris-Walz after losing out for spot on the ticket
Cornell University sends officers to Jewish center after violent, antisemitic messages posted online
The 411 on MPG: How the US regulates fuel economy for cars and trucks. (It's complicated)
Fantasy football risers, fallers: Jahan Dotson shows off sleeper potential
Are Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp down? Meta says most issues resolved after outages
NFL Sunday Ticket streaming problems? You're not alone, as fans grumble to YouTube
Newly elected regional lawmaker for a far-right party arrested in Germany
Matthew Perry’s Cause of Death Deferred After Autopsy